she's steam laughing on the windowpane

I bet you never heard old Marshall say, 'Miss Kitty, have you ever thought of running away?' His heart wasn't in it; he stole a kiss as he rode away.

I've certainly thought about running away. These next few months cannot come fast enough.

I want out of Hogwarts and I want it now.

I woke up this morning in a cold sweat. It's not particularly frigid in Gryffindor Tower either; the house elves keep it decently warm with the help of a fire and warm blankets. I just couldn't help the freezing feeling in my body. It was as if my blood had chilled completely, running like ice water through my veins. I couldn't help but want to cry. I'll never admit that I actually did.

I've really no clue what I want to do with my life. I know I say I want to plan parties or something equally frivolent, but I just don't know. I don't want to take my NEWTs-- they feel so pointless, since I don't want any kind of traditional job. I'm not interested in a nine to five. I don't even think I'm really interested in working. I suppose if I didn't have the option not to work, this wouldn't be an issue, but I know that I don't have to. I've been told I don't have to. I guess my parents don't really see me succeeding at any kind of serious occupation, and I can't say I blame them.

But it still scares me. I want some kind of purpose, some kind of driving force in my life that inspires me to actually wake up in the morning and stop feeling like I'm living on auto-pilot. Everything is so monotonous now, so boring. Even parties are boring, and nothing exciting ever happens. I feel like I'm being drugged into nothingness.

I don't like it.

RSVP here, because everyone sending me an owl is only slightly awkward.

When you RSVP, I'll tell you your character for the party. It's a murder mystery party, because we all know Cal loves murder mysteries.


Private to Cal
Yes. You have to come.

So apparently I completely missed the fact that we're having career day. That's excellent; it will give me twenty-four hours to ignore everything the professors say without feeling any guilt for it whatsoever.

Private to Cal
I know you wanted some time alone, Cal, but enough is enough. Come out of your hiding place for a little while. I'll even let you beat me in chess.

I've already bought everyone's Christmas presents, so I don't want to hear anyone complaining that they wanted something particular. You'll like what you get, so don't whine.

The rumours are, in fact, true. I am dating Derek Brennan.

For the girls that are staying for the festivities [Darcy: which you should be attending instead of leaving me all alone], I'm opening up the Gryffindor common room for you to come and get ready. No reason for everyone to hole up on their own and panic.

Avery, we're still on for Hogsmeade, right?

It is fact that I am Queen of Gryffindor Tower, yes? (This is a rhetorical question, o great Ravenclaw ones.)

It is also fact that Gryffindor throws the best parties. (This is non-negotiable, o sneaky Slytherin ones.)

It is also fact that Gryffindor House is the most fun. (...I'm sorry, Hufflies, but you don't win this one either.)

[hexed from foreign schools]
Also, the foreign jobs have got nothing on us. Home field advantage, as the Muggles like to say!
[/hex]

So. Given these three facts, I have decided that Gryffindor parties, in order to stay fun, need to reinstate the "invitation only policy" that was previously (and negligently) discarded in favor of open chaos.

That said (and this is becoming rather too much for me to write in one sitting) I will be sending out invitations. You see, my birthday weekend is this weekend and I want something absolutely fantastic. Even though my actual birthday is the 29th...

Gifts will be required for admittance! You are forewarned.

Better late than never, I'd have to say, but congratulations to our Champion. I'm sure the fireworks and streamers every time you walk into Gryffindor Tower are all Darce's doing anyway.

[warded against slytherins and professors]
I'm fine, really. Everyone can stop trying to shove food down my throat. I'm just not hungry.

And Merlin, no one let me near the dungeons for at least another week. I'm sorely tempted to throw something explosive in there.

Locked to Brennan.

I couldn't do it.

I've decided. I'll put my name into the Goblet, but only because I like signing things.

I think I need to make a request for the House Elves to smooth down the surface of the Astronomy Tower.

And I'm indecisive; I'm not sure I want to put my name in.

I often wonder what it might be like if I suddenly grew wings.

I also often wonder what it might be like to start a gang.

As it is slightly more plausible for me to start a gang than grow wings naturally (as doing so via Charms work or Potions requires actual work) I think I shall do that.

Now all I need is members and a name.

And the clock said, "Na na na na, na na na. Oh Schmuel, you'll get to be happy! Na na na na, na na na. I give you unlimited time!"

As much as I absolutely adore Hogwarts, my House, and all its inhabitants, I sorely miss summer already.

I am starting to get pale in places that should never be anything less than golden with all this work.

James, I fully blame you for this, just so you know.